Cheating is as American as Obesity
But the art is dying.
Hello Idiots! ✊
We haven’t yelled at any clouds in a while.
It’s time to change that.
Last week the Wall Street Journal published some SHOCKING figures that confirmed the unthinkable: “Cheating at Schools Is Easier Than Ever - and It’s Rampant.”
They cited a handful of examples of huge spikes in cheating on campuses around the country. As if hard data was needed to convince us that people cheat.
But we already know there’s a problem. With so many kids getting caught nowadays, the problem has made itself abundantly clear to anyone with eyes and a brain.
And the problem is not that cheating is getting easier (even though it is).
The PROBLEM is that kids don’t know how to WORK for anything anymore!
Let me be clear: this is NOT a knock on cheating.
Cheating is as American as Chevy, baseball, apple pie, and obesity.
No, I’m referring to the fact that kids are getting caught at such an alarming rate. And HOW they’re getting caught:
Some of its busts include a student suspected of trying to use a drone’s camera to take images of a test to possibly share with others; another who was trying to cheat by using information on sticky notes on his dog; and a female student who sneezed and disappeared from view, to suddenly be replaced by a male wearing a blond wig, impersonating her.
Getting someone of the opposite sex to impersonate you? You just HAVE to be better than that.
All it takes is a little creativity and EFFORT.
Or, if all else fails, just do it the old fashion way:
Friend: “Dunning, let me copy your homework really quick.”
DK: “Ok but change it up a little so they don’t look the same.”
Friend: “Of course.”
Works every time.
And if you get caught and get assigned lines as punishment? There’s a solution for that too.
Just kidding. I can confirm this photo is BULLSHIT because I tried HARD to invent this when I was a kid.
Back to reality and the matter at hand: kids are lazy.
To be fair, I was a lazy kid too. But at least I cheated like a man.
Nowadays, I don’t even think it could be called “cheating.” Nowadays, it’s just outsourcing.
All you have to do is go to a website like homeworkforyou.com (even the URL is lazy), briefly describe what you need, when you need it by, how much you’re willing to pay, and hit submit.
Then “tutors” bid for the opportunity to cheat on your behalf.
Where the hell is the art in that?
Of course, it didn’t take long before some took advantage of the generational laziness.
In the upset of the century, it turns out that people who offer to cheat online for others aren’t exactly the “honest type.”
WSJ talked to one “tutor” on Craigslist, “Daniel Amaro”, who told them that business was BOOMING.
His ad boasted bachelor's and master’s degrees from Columbia University, but when WSJ tried to confirm this with the university, they hit a dead end.
Uhh, ya think?
They called him out and “Amaro” immediately turtled and asked not to be included in the article. They did anyway.
It gets worse.
The entitlement runs so deep, that students are actually COMPLAINING about not getting the (cheating) services they were expecting!
Students have filed complaints against services with the Better Business Bureau for not getting the grade promised as well as for unoriginal work, late assignments or billing concerns. One student filed a complaint to the bureau in November about allassignmenthelp.org, which promises to complete dissertations, essays and other coursework, saying it did poor work and was misleading on what it would provide. The student also claimed that the site made threats about legal action and notifying school administrators about cheating.
I almost fell out of my seat when I read that first sentence.
That would be like calling the cops because your dealer sold you shitty drugs. Watch until the end.
And you know what? I’m glad all of these whippersnappers are getting caught now.
They have to learn early: the only way to get ahead in this country is to put in the WORK.
TL;DR: The art of cheating is dying.
Thanks for reading! Let’s have a great week! ✊