Alex Rodriguez is a Business, Man!

A-Rod is the gift that keeps on giving.

Hello Idiots

A little trip down memory lane for me with this one, hope you enjoy it.

If you do, please share with someone you think might too! Link to share at bottom.

AYFKM

I don’t know if there’s anyone in the history of 180s that has gone from universally hated to universally adored quite like Alex Rodriguez.

Personally, I hated the guy’s guts for a long time. It wasn’t until his playing days were over that I started coming around on him. Now I love everything he does.

I think most people have had this similar change of heart, but my beef with him was different. My beef with him was personal.

It goes back 21 years to the time he big leagued me (an 11-year-old boy) at a University of Miami baseball game.

I was, like any kid who grew up playing baseball in Miami, a big Hurricanes fan. I loved going to games, so I was pumped when my dad scored season tickets for the 2000 season.

We went to a ton of games that year, especially mid-week. Those were my favorite. Sure the Canes might be playing St. Mary’s School of the Blind instead of Clemson, but at 11 years old I certainly couldn’t tell the difference. They were all larger than life to me.

On the list of things that I gave a shit about at that time, “level of talent on the field” ranked near the bottom. Right below girls, and generally being a liability for my parents.

No, I loved mid-week games because there were much fewer fans, which meant you could get closer to the players. The best was leaning up against the fence down the rightfield line to watch the bullpen guys get ready to go into a game.

I’m fairly certain that to this day I’ve never seen objects travel faster than those warmup pitches. I wonder how those guys’ careers panned out. Surely, at least a few of them must be knocking on Cooperstown’s door by now.

A-Rod, a Miami guy, also enjoys attending UM games. He signed a letter of intent to play for the Hurricanes when he was in high school, but never actually did because he went straight to the big time.

Though if you went to a game now you'd swear he must’ve played on Mark Light Field because Mark Light Field is in Alex Rodriguez Park.

The University added the A-Rod part in 2009 after a generous donation for renovations. I have played a beer league game at the park and I can confirm the facilities are top-notch.

Anyway, in the 5th inning of one of those mid-week games, a foul ball went up over behind the first-base dugout but remained in the park. I and a few other prepubescent kids that were down the right-field line raced after it, as prepubescent kids do when there’s a ball up for grabs. Like dogs, really.

Any kid that knew anything about anything knew that down the right-field line was where foul balls went to die. This was where you could snag a souvenir to take home if you could get to it before the others.

Even at the young age of 11, I was notably more athletic than my peers, so it was no surprise that I was leading the pack as we swarmed around a corner in pursuit of the directionally challenged baseball.

And that’s when we were stopped dead in our tracks.

In front of us stood the best baseball player on the planet: Alex Rodriguez.

All of us immediately ripped off our hats and offered them out eagerly, arms outstretched.

A-Rod! Can I get an autograph??

He didn’t say yes, but he didn’t say no.

He said that he would meet us there, in that exact spot, after the game, and would sign anything we wanted.

!!!!!!!! Holy shit!!!

For the rest of the game, the only thing on my mind was making sure I was the first in line to get an autograph. I was PUMPED.

At some point in the 8th inning, I took a trip to the bathroom. I didn’t want to have to go as the game was ending and miss A-Rod.

That’s when I saw him again, except this time he was ducking out of the exit behind home plate with his entourage.

Mother f***er.

Not only did he big league me (and a handful of other kids), he left the game in the 8th! What kind of a fan does that? Unreal.

He immediately went to the top of my shitlist after that night.

I held the grudge throughout his playing career. The steroid scandal and subsequent lies got him dangerously close to becoming a permanent fixture on that list.

But things started to change when A-Rod made his way into the booth and provided the first competent in-game commentary these ears have ever heard.

Haters can say what they will about Rodriguez, but they can’t say he doesn’t have an exceptionally high baseball IQ. It’s obvious any time he’s calling a game.

So he saved baseball commentary. That went a long way for me because I honestly thought it was an impossible task. Seriously, 99% of commentators cannot tell a curveball from a change-up to save their lives. It’s offensive.

And if A-Rod saving baseball commentary was the first baby step back into my good graces, then the rise of A-Rod Corp. was the equivalent of stepping on the moon.

What does A-Rod Corp do?

Why tell you when I can show you:

#OfficeLife

I’m still waiting for my autograph 21 years later…

Making sure to keep every day productive!

Meetings with Warren (Buffet)

Always ready in case a business meeting breaks out, even when he’s fueling up!

A-Rod Corp is 24/7, Alex is always on the job.

It doesn’t matter what A-Rod Corp. does! All you need to know is that it’s electric.

Another way to know A-Rod Corp. doesn’t mess around? The CEO’s (A-Rod) office is painted jet black:

That’s because A-Rod is a no-nonsense type of CEO and because it’s necessary in order to intimidate his subordinates.

This is all to say: A-Rod is not a businessman. He’s a business, MAN!

And I love a good business.

Especially when that business is constantly INNOVATING:

“I wanted to create a product that solved an issue I faced every day. I realized as I was jumping from meeting to meeting, I needed something quick and easy in my routine to conceal blemishes or razor bumps.” - Alex Rodriguez

You really think that between all of the baseballs he has to sign and inboxes he has to manage, A-Rod has time to freshen up between meetings?

F*** no.

That’s why he created a product for me and you, the everyday man.

It’s about goddamn time.

TL;DR: Alex Rodriguez, the man, has come a long way from the selfish, troubled youth who crushed the dreams of children and cheated and lied and practiced kissing girls in the mirror.

As long as A-Rod Corp. is in business with Alex Rodriguez at the helm, I’m Team A-Rod for life.

P.S. Aubrey Huff is still alive. Remember him? Yeah, he’s a NUTJOB now. I guess he always was, but he’s much more “hey, look at me” about it now. Go through his Twitter history if you want a laugh (and are not easily offended).


Thanks for reading!

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