Elephants in California

Subscriptions for everything, California recall, The scam call hero we need, No we don't prefer 'Latinx'

Hello Idiots! 

A few knuckleballs to take you into the weekend.

If someone sent you this email, they’re telling you to sign up. You can do that here:


Subscriptions are the future of everything.

You don’t drive to Blockbuster to rent a movie for family night. You rent entire libraries of films and TV shows for $12.99 a month. (And another for $5.99. And another for $7.99. And another for $14.99. And another for $4.99. Seriously, too many streaming platforms.)

You don’t buy the latest work applications you need, like Word, Excel, Powerpoint, etc. on a CD-ROM at Best Buy. You pay $9.99 a month to access the programs digitally.

You don’t buy razors and shaving cream at the drug store. You pay $9 a month to a club that sends them to you by mail.

You don’t buy video games that come on a disc in a box for $60 a piece. You pay $15 a month to access a whole catalog of games straight from your console.

You don’t buy Photoshop from Adobe for a one-time price. You pay them $9.99 a month to use it.

You don’t drive to Circuit City to buy the latest Limp Bizkit album. You pay $9.99 a month for access to millions of songs on your phone, on-demand.

You don’t wait more than 48 hours for your online purchases to be delivered to you like a peasant. You have free 2-day shipping for $12.99 a month.

And you sure as f*ck don’t have to pay for that Taco Bell you stuffed down your gullet last night as you stumbled home from the bar piss-drunk at 2 am. You have a $5-$10 Taco Lover’s Pass that entitles you to 1 taco per day for 30 days.

TL;DR: Go through all the things you are subscribed to. I bet there’s some dead weight.


The governor of California, Gavin Newsom, is so bad at his job that the people had to get together and vote on whether or not his incompetence was a fireable offense.

What he did (or didn’t do) is largely irrelevant.

Since we’re on the topic, there’s a whole website devoted to it. Here are the reasons they list:

But I digress.

What is relevant is that enough people believed his incompetence was so great it merited a recall (read: firing) vote.

That’s tough to do.

On Tuesday night, they voted (overwhelmingly) not to remove Gov. Newsom from office.

This was predictable.

Voting to recall Newsom would mean taking a very public ‘L’ at the hand of the Republicans. That was never going to happen. Competence be damned.

Especially not after a Kamala Harris-led rally last week where

If your main selling point is: “at least I’m not a Republican”, there are bigger elephants in the room.

But the reaction to the “win” was a bit…what’s the word I’m looking for?

Again — this was a vote on whether or not to fire someone for doing their job poorly (even though the vote was centered around a single issue, the rest ignored).

Yet if you scrolled through the Bluecheckmark Brigade on Twitter you would’ve thought California solved world peace.

…found the word!

The worst part is that none of the reasons listed in that screenshot above seem to have influenced voters at all.

In 2018, 62% supported Newsom for governor. In this recall (results still incomplete), 64% decided they were okay with more of the same.

Getting dangerously close to being removed from office actually made him stronger.

It’s also apparently laid out the playbook for both parties on how best to politicize COVID-19.

Full disclosure: I’m not a big California politics buff, so I don’t know the details or ins and outs of the situation.

But as an outsider looking in — I think it’s troubling when such a large population of opinions remain unstirred by new information.

“When my information changes, I alter my conclusions. What do you do, sir?” - John Maynard Keynes

TL;DR: Party over competence.


Not all heroes wear capes.

Here’s my call log over a ~12 hour period last week. Everything not crossed out is a scam call:

I’m honestly fed up with it and I bet you are too.

Good news though — my Twitter has serious reach. How do I know? They saw my tweet all the way from Sweden:

I don’t know what their solution is, but investors value it around $3B, so that’s promising.

Now we just need them to open up an American office.

TL;DR: The Do Not Call Registry is bullshit.


3 out of 4 Hispanics will look at you like you have 3-heads if you refer to them as ‘Latinx’.

We’re in the middle of September, but apparently, Hispanic Heritage Month kicked off this week.

It runs from 9/15-10/15, so really it should be called Hispanic Heritage Weeks.

Or we could call it Hispanic Heritage Months (plural) since it takes place during 2 different months.

I really don’t care as long as it’s not ‘Latinx’ something.

That’s because the term was likely created by a very small (but very loud) minority whose opinions do not reflect those of the population they’re trying to slap an unwanted label on.

TL;DR: No, we don’t prefer ‘Latinx’.

Thanks for reading!



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