Grow up, tip better

Millenials and Gen Zers have a 42% and 48% chance of being assholes, respectively.

Hello Idiots!

Honestly, the last thing I wanted to do was write about Gen f*cking Z again. I really didn’t want to, promise.

But it’s either they stop doing stupid shit, or we lower the bar for stupid, and we can’t do that.

Besides, this is not just about Gen Z. These words are for them too, but my own Millennials are the real subject of my ire.

If someone sent you this email, they’re telling you to sign up. You can do that here:

#AYFKM

So there I was minding my own business sitting on my little corner of the Internet streets not thinking about Gen Z when WHAM, this headline jumps off the screen and smacks me right in the boredom:

My brain automatically got so triggered at the sight of Gen Z being the absolute worst at something that it forgot (or decided not) to register the word “Millenials” in the headline at first. Embarrassing, I know.

Luckily, 30+ years of being wrong have fine-tuned the other side of my brain to catch these f*ck ups. I think this is called maturity?

Anyway, according to CreditCards.com, society as a whole has gotten a little less generous since 2019, and the younger you are, the more likely you are to be an ungrateful prick.

Likelihood of tipping at sit-down restaurants:

I don’t have fancy charts for the other categories, but I can tell you that the results (Millenials and Gen Z less likely to tip) are exactly the same for all of them:

  • Servers or waitstaff at a sit-down restaurant

  • Food delivery drivers

  • Hairstylists and barbers

  • Taxi and rideshare drivers

  • Hotel housekeepers1

First, a silent round of applause for the silent generation, who are quietly and literally setting the example for generations to follow.

“Atta boys” are in order, of course, for Boomers and Gen Xers for being correct over 70% of the time.

And then we get to the problem generations: Millenials and Gen Zers who ‘always’ tip their servers at a sit-down restaurant 58% and 52% of the time, respectively.

That means that nearly half of the time, some poor schmuck waiting tables is going to have to opt for the 1-ply toilet paper over the 2-ply the next time they’re at the store, all because a table of celibate-sloths stiffed them.

It’s ridiculous. Nobody should ever be forced to use 1-ply! Seriously, why do they even make it?

The worst part? Eight out of every ten Gen Zers’ first job was in a restaurant! I don’t have the figure for Millenials, but I would assume that it’s comparable.

Now, I’m not going to regale you with embellished war stories about my hard time in the service industry because they simply don’t exist. I would be lying if I said I had any first-hand experience.

However, first-hand experience is not a requirement for sympathy and kindness, and the financial hardships associated with this type of work are well documented anyway.

“If you want to see the true measure of a man, watch how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.” - J.K. Rowling

My personal tipping philosophy: 20% is the baseline. From there, it’s easy to get me to 25% if the service is good, or 30% if you knock my socks off.

You really have to out of your way to get less than 20% from me, but it’s happened. Even in those cases, I’ll usually only go down to 15%.

If you’re shockingly useless, I’ll still probably give you 10%.

If I give you 10%, though, just know that I truly, sincerely, with all my heart, think you’re an incompetent moron, and I’m not sure how you’ve made it this far in life but I wish you the best of luck in all of your future endeavors (you’re going to need it!).

No offense.

TL;DR: Grow up, tip better.

P.S. The tiniest of silver linings: when Millenials do decide not to be cheapskates, they actually tend to tip a little more than the rest. So we got that going for us…


Have a great weekend!

Share

Last:

Gen Z "literally can't" email

1

Full transparency: I have never tipped a hotel housekeeper. Not on purpose, it just has never even crossed my mind. I’m not sure if that makes me an asshole or not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯