Nowadays, it’s all about monetizing “stupid” and Maren Altman is putting on a goddamn clinic.
Hello Idiots! ✊
Last month we learned about Hannah Sanford and how she went from Dr. Fauci to OnlyFans. My point with that post was to emphasize the fact that there is a market for EVERYTHING.
Or was it to encourage you to follow your passions? Probably both.
Today we’ve got a similar story of someone turning crazy 👉 MONEY.
If someone sent you this email, they’re telling you to sign up. You can do that here:
Maren Altman is a TikToker/astrology guru/cryptocurrency ‘not a financial advisor’/influencer.
Actually, I should rephrase that: Maren Altman is THE TikToker/astrology guru/cryptocurrency ‘not a financial advisor’/influencer.
She uses astrology as an indicator to predict the price movements of cryptocurrencies. One of the many indicators I like to use sometimes too, particularly when I’m on a cold streak.
Everything in me wants to make fun of Altman here (and anyone who reads horoscopes for that matter). I want to say: “Hey, don’t you think it’s a little ridiculous to think that astrology (which is just another name for fake science) has any bearing whatsoever on imaginary digital tokens idolized by virgins!?”
But I won’t say that, because I think she might actually be some sort of accidental genius. Credit to me for showing self-control.
She’s taken 2 things that people go absolutely bat-shit crazy over (astrology & crypto) and smashed them together in bite-sized clips made so that even an ADHD-riddled-crypto-obsessed chimpanzee can digest them. Sort of:
To put it politely: that’s a shit ton of stupid money floating around 2 very…ambiguous industries. Altman’s videos and “advice” are also ambiguous. Her ambitions, however, are not.
“I’m a really serious person.” - Maren Altman
She’s not f*cking around, she really is serious.
When she was a teenager, she was selling horoscope readings to drunk kids at parties just to make a couple of bucks. Now the horoscope-reading-crypto-pumping-Tik-Tok-influencing psychopath has somehow managed to surpass a million followers over all of her social media accounts.
Does that make her an expert? You tell me!
Can’t argue with that.
Whether or not Altman is an expert is irrelevant. What is relevant is that she’s managed to turn these obsessions into MONEY. She’s leveraged her massive following into several lucrative revenue streams:
Manifestation Mysteries of the Moon - $199 (sorry, no scholarships)
Crypto Charted - $385 or $35 monthly
Benefit Benefactor - $49.49 monthly
Astro Advocate - $15.15 monthly
Luminary Lover - $7.77 monthly
Horoscopes, cryptocurrencies, and Tik Tok. It’s the perfect storm of stupidity.
It’s also the recipe for creating a literal ATM machine that’s replenished regularly by a never-ending supply of dumb money (astrology + crypto nerds).
TL;DR: Nowadays it’s all about monetizing “stupid” and Maren Altman is putting on a goddamn clinic.
Thanks for reading! ✊