Thought dump

JPEG rocks, OnlyFans snip-snap, Amazon is Walmart is Amazon, Ayfkm in Afghanistan, Crypto Ponzi schemers don't know anything

Hello Idiots! 

An assorted thought dump to take you into the weekend!

If someone sent you this email, they’re telling you to sign up. You can do that here:


There is nothing more infuriating than watching the stocks in your portfolio take a swan dive on one screen, while Tweets like these flood your timeline on the other:

Again, I’m sitting here with my brokerage account open, looking at my portfolio which contains shares of real-life companies with mission statements, balance sheets, H.R. departments, real estate, factories & equipment, intellectual property, etc.

Those assets are falling because of inflation-this, and interest-rates-that, and Delta-variant-come-on!

Meanwhile, JPEGs of rocks are going for millions in United States Dollars, because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


This happened last week:

I am not an OnlyFan, but I get it.

I thought this news really sucked for creators, many of whom had started making a decent living doing something they enjoyed. If only I could ask Hannah, the orgasm artist who I wrote about a few months ago, for her thoughts on the matter.

After some good old-fashioned public outrage (the elusive desirable kind), the company reversed its decision on Wednesday.

"The proposed October 1, 2021 changes are no longer required due to banking partners' assurances that OnlyFans can support all genres of creators."

OnlyFans statement to Protocol

Score one for sex workers. Suck it, human traffickers!

You see, opposers of OnlyFans’s initial decision argue that the platform creates a safe space for sex workers — an alternative to, you know, the other kind of space for sex workers…

I agree.

My biggest takeaway from all of this nonsense (and apparently the banks’ too) — OnlyFans, the business, is growing fast!

Net revenue

  • 2020: $375M

  • 2021: $1.2B

  • 2022: $2.5B

Free cash flow (FCF)

  • 2020: $150M

  • 2021: $620M

  • 2022: $1.2B

Gross merchandise value (GMV)

  • 2020: $2.2B

  • 2021: $5.9B

  • 2022: $12.5B

Total amount paid to creators since inception: $3.2 billion

  • More than 300 creators earn at least $1 million annually.

  • Around 16,000 creators earn at least $50,000 annually.

  • More than seven million "fans" spend on OnlyFans each month. It has even more users who only consume free content.


Any other company would be beating away investors with a stick!


Amazon is building a Walmart. Walmart is offering Prime shipping (basically).

According to corporate and industry data, people now spend more money at Amazon than they do at Walmart. That makes them the second-largest retailer in the world, behind Alibaba in China.

Once you’ve pocketed the online retail industry, the natural next step is to take the physical world too. At least that’s the Bezos way — I’ve written about Amazon, specifically, doing this here and here.

Walmart, on the other hand, is trying to compete with the likes of Uber, Doordash, Alphabet, and of course, Amazon in the delivery game.

Their fleet will include drones and self-driving cars.

This is kind of like if the Steve Buscemi meme came to life:

I don’t want to make premature predictions about Walmart’s venture with GoLocal, but in my head, I’m picturing my stuff being delivered via mobility scooter, and the max speed on those things is like 4 mph.

I know that doesn’t make sense, but that’s where my imagination took me.

Deal with it.


Bad stuff went down in Afghanistan, and by now you’ve probably read or heard a thousand opinions.

Honestly, I had no idea the majority of virology experts in the US were so well versed in foreign policy as it pertains to the Middle East.

Because I am not a foreign policy, military, diplomacy, or historical expert, I’ve kept my (lack of) opinion to myself.

I think we can all agree that there have been just too many takes by too many people who have no f*cking clue what they’re talking about.1

Having said that.

AYFKM with this?

I’ll let you read and formulate your own opinion, but I mean…

“Basically, they just put all those Afghans on a kill list.”

Defense official (anonymous)


Not even crypto Ponzi schemers know which shitcoin will be the next to take off.

Yesterday, my DMs were blessed by a true rags-to-riches legend. A man that turned a measly $50k into $17 MILLION in1 year!

Unbeknownst to me, Mr. madazlifestyle follows me on Twitter for some reason (definitely the humor). He goes by @madaznfootbal_ there.

Imagine that, a self-made multi-millionaire, following me, an anonymous!

Yesterday was a particularly poor trading day for yours truly, so when Mr. madaz subtly slid into my DMs with a simple question —

“How is your trade going?”

— I thought, How did he know? How thoughtful. and also, What an odd way to phrase that question. But mostly, thoughtful.

To my dismay, Mr. madaz wasn’t interested in my feelings. He did, however, want to help me earn about $20k in 5 to 6 days of trading!

Turns out he didn’t have any winners for me.

I’m still waiting for his thoughts on my AMC call options idea…

Thanks for reading!


Control what you can control


A widely applicable statement